Tuesday, February 23, 2010

You're Invited!

Dear President Barack Obama,

First, I would like to congratulate you on choosing the University of Michigan to provide the commencement address to the class of 2010. (You may think it odd for me to be congratulating you on this decision, but I believe all smart choices should be commended.) As a graduating Master of Public Policy Student at the Ford School of Public Policy, you should know that I'm totally stoked about your arrival - even if we do share our differences on both policy approaches and methods of governance.

As you are likely well aware, John F. Kennedy once used the stairs of the Michigan Student Union to outline his vision of the Peace Corps to the world. We boast a proud, progressive history here that captures the American Dream while ushering in bold new ideas to make this nation even greater. Commencement addresses can be an excellent platform to reveal grand visions that produce laudable fruition, e.g., the Marshall Plan, and high expectations are set for the plan you will provide to over 100,000 onlookers. *Spoiler Alert*: Does our potential to become America's Clean Energy Hub have a role in the inspiration you hope to instill in us?

Additionally, I would like to take this time to formerly extend an invitation to celebrate the graduation of the Class of 2010 at Das Pink Haus. The residence of 902 Brown is a mere two blocks from the stadium, greatly reducing your travel time. During our time together you will find the bathrooms clean, the furniture comfortable, and the space spacious. It is occupied by masters students at the Ford School of Public Policy, and includes many a loyal supporter. Drinks we be on the house, for your money will be no good here (unless, of course, you don't mind printing a little more to help out some guys graduating with pesky student loans). In return for your visit, we promise impartial feedback on the new plan you will introduce on May 1. Economic, statistical, cultural, and other analysis is assured from some of the best future minds in the business. A personal concentration in the nexus between the environment and energy systems enhances my personal excitement regarding your proposal for a new generation of sustainable energy systems (sorry if I'm dictating content too much here).

We'd like to keep the event low-key, so try to invite too many friends over; Carol Browner and a couple others are free to stop by, but they're gonna have to chip in $5 for a plastic cup. I know you're an extremely busy man responsible for fixing a legacy of problems caused by past and present forces, so you needn't respond immediately to this invite. However, an RSVP (including regrets) by April would be much appreciated so we can determine what to do with roommate Jason Arredondo (he's an entrenched member of the Chicago political machine, and would be no good to have around you). If you have any other questions, or need me to text presidential convoy instructions, please don't hesitate to contact me. My number is (785) 580-XXXX. It's easiest to reach me in the morning, but I can take a call in class as long as I don't miss too much lecture. Good luck putting GHG emissions back on the table, and I hope to hear from you soon.


Dave Thoman

P.S. Tell Bob Gates he also drinks for free.